Prattle for Missouri?

The Battle for Missouri was a bummer.

Leaf Humpy told me that Jesse Jeffers was sponsoring the event here in town but I wanted another crack at Jerry's Bait Shop even though I knew it would be a screwjob.

Jeffers and I go back to Halloween Havoc '07 at the LM Alcott Center in KCK. He and another jobber were supposed to back me up but started falling apart after song one. We exchanged flames on MySpace, Jeffers accusing me of shoddy musicianship, but unfortunately I have the video. The closer, "Do You Love Me", was a classic.

When I checked in after 2 PM on 6/27/10, Jeffers had one sob story after another. Two bands supposedly cancelled (after paying a $40 entry fee???) and left a gap between my set and the next group of over two hours. That doesn't give the judges the best comparison time, I figured. I got pretty nasty with ol' Southern Grace after that, and it got worse when he said there were no amps available. By then I was ready to hammer the little bastard but, as they say, the show must go on.

What followed next was another episode of my love/hate relationship with Mr. Machine. I've got one of the best crap tape Spoiler practices of all time in my truck right now, courtesy of Little Mac. I was backed into that corner by Big Mac (John Mc Guffin), who canceled out a week before showtime. The set was bitchin' at the house, but onstage, well...acoustics can be a stubborn animal sometimes. The first three songs were on the money but "Man Grenade" had a bad takeoff, and "Obamanation" almost didn't make the finish line. "Back From Iraq" had the Bait Shop crowd calling for an encore, but that wasn't going to amount to a pile of dog poo with Jeffers' judges.

The business end of the industry was what defeated me in NYC, and it's starting to burn me out here in KC. It gets harder and harder to give your best every night when you know the movers and shakers don't give a damn what the audience thinks. All you feel like doing at the end of the show is give a pencil-pusher a piledriver. Count your blessings, JJ.

Well, we've got the LPAT in Liberty next month, and I'm hoping the judges there will give us a fair shake. Even if they don't, we'll get another great video out of it.

I got $1,000 for the Ducky Boys' acetate a couple of years ago. Wonder what these Spoiler movies'll be worth...

...after the Obamanation?

Prolly not a plugged nickel, collapsed economy or not.

Return of the Iceman?

Well, I finally went out to the Independence Events Center today and gave my fading ice hockey career another jump start.

Considering the fact that it was only my second time on skates in two years (my last game was at Pepsi Ice Center in Overland Park KS in May 2008), it wasn't the worst of times. I played a solid defense, made some slick passes, only made one bonehead giveaway, and scored an empty-net goal with no time remaining. Still, I thought being about twenty pounds lighter would've made a difference. WRONG! Get out on that track and do some laps, big man.

Back in high school I was a neighborhood legend but I didn't have the size to take a shot at the minor leagues. The band, then wrestling, eclipsed my hockey dream until 2007. I had this fantastic delusion of making a comeback to see if I had anything left. Unfortunately I chose the Waukonis hockey league as a re-entry point and, frankly, I got screwed over every step of the way. Joe Lynch, who was one of my first 'friends' at the rink (and happened to be chummy with four-time Stanley Cup-winning NY Islander and 1990 Olympic hockey gold medalist Ken Morrow) turned out to be a lying snake in the grass. He ended up being the one to get me kicked out of the league, sinking my last hope of being 'discovered'.

So why go back? Well, why lift weights, why play rock and roll? Even better: why wake up tomorrow? If you can, you might as well. If you don't you may as well start digging your own grave. When your dreams die, you die.

And this NYC Sewer Rat isn't dead yet.

Metal Machine Massacre?

This is the night before one of the biggest shows in SPOILER history. Tomorrow afternoon at 4 PM at Jerry's Bait Shop in Lee's Summit may be the end of the beginning...or the beginning of the end.



Despite having written some of the best songs in franchise history as of late, recruiting members and finding gigs has been highly unsuccessful. Narrowing the gap has necessitated the use of a drum machine, which has tightened up the sound but serves to emphasize the lack of support. The great Broadway Turk Superstar has become a one-man band, doing the guitar/vox, putting on a show, working the mic between songs, a one-legged man at a butt-kicking contest.



The Bait Shop is hosting Gorilla Productions' second Battle of the Bands in KCMO. The Turk strapped it on with Terri Thunders (keys) in December and they more than held their own. Only it was an alternative band competing against a lineup of metal bands, swimming against the tide. This time Superstar wrote a metal set that's down to kill. Only the SPOILER hasn't done a metal show in over thirty (!) years. They're concerned, they're nervous...but they're poised and ready.



Should this attack fail, the writing may be on the wall. Alternative is not catching fire in Kansas City, and the old guard blues and classic rock venues are drying up. The NYC Sewer Rat has been hitting it hard since last fall but the naysayers and the barren playing field are taking its toll. The music is too good to give up on but everything has its limits.Has the SPOILER reached its limit? On April 25, 2010...we shall see.